20140827

How (and Why) to Develop Your Mental Toughness

Developing your mental toughness can help you be more emotionally resilient, push you to go further and harder, and build armor to persevere against the bullets that life fires your way. It's not as easy to just "be tougher," though. Here are some tactics to toughen up your mind for life's hard knocks.

What is Mental Toughness?

"Mental toughness" is keeping strong in the face of adversity. It's the ability to keep your focus and determination despite the difficulties you encounter. Events in our life rarely go the way we'd like them to, but that doesn't mean you have to let it throw you off your game. Mental toughness gives you the tenacity to learn from your mistakes without the devastating blow failure can sometimes deal. This resilience and fortitude also gives you the strength to keep emotions in check when something in your life seems overwhelming and you need to be strong. Essentially, mental toughness is the voice in the back of your head that tells you to keep going, keep pushing, and keep trying, even when the going gets tough. They say "life's tough, get a helmet." These tactics can help you create the helmet you need.

Manage Your Expectations

The best offense is a good defense. One of the biggest ways you can build resilience to the things that come your way is to manage your expectations. If you have poorly managed expectations, you'll run into more surprises, which can make you feel out of control. Lack of control can lower your morale and weaken your mental fortitude. Flexibility and the ability to adapt to situations are key components to laying the groundwork for strong mental resolve. Christine M. Riordan at Forbes explains how a leader with flexibility can stay mentally strong, but the same can be said for anyone:
Game-ready leaders have the ability to absorb the unexpected and remain supple and non-defensive. They maintain humor even when the situation becomes tough. If something isn't going well or doesn't turn out as expected, they remain flexible in their approach and look for new ways to solve the problem. Just like a quarterback faced with a broken play, a leader may have to decide quickly on a different way to get the ball down the field.
You should not only roll with the punches, but think about how you can take a swing. You cannot control everything that comes your way, but you are in absolute control of how you react to it. Take a look at situations from the outside and try to see a different perspective. It's hard to see the true causes of events when your vision is clouded with immediate emotional responses. Wait five minutes to respond to something when you have the time. Or pretend like you're giving advice to yourself when searching for a solution. We tend to immediately overreact to something, even if we don't completely understand it yet. Comprehend and understand the pieces first, then put things together and react. Doing this over time will help you adjust your expectations to a realistic level.
You can also keep realistic expectations by defining them. Surprises may come more often than we like, but you can be better prepared for them by articulating what you specifically think might happen. Getting your hopes up or banking on mere possibilities in a situation puts holes in your armor right from the get-go. When a problem arises, take some time to ask yourself what outcomes you think are truly possible. Do this even before you look for solutions, and write them down if you'd like. If you can see the possible realities and accept them before you even react to it, you'll be better prepared for whatever comes your way. Eventually, you'll start to do this automatically and you'll be able to approach situations calmly and with a clear head.

Prevent Emotions from Getting the Best of You

Being in touch with your emotions is a good thing, but they can also cloud your judgment in the moment. Mentally tough people know how to keep cool in heated situations. Emotions can get the best of us when we're between a rock and a hard place, but having some emotional resilience can increase your ability to handle heavy situations. 

One way to build emotional resilience is by owning what's happening to you instead of running away to seek comfort. The Navy SEALs have a saying: "Get comfortable being uncomfortable." You can't get stronger if you stay in your comfort zone at all times. Learning to be comfortable with uncomfortable situations will force you to learn from the situation instead of escape from it. Maria Bogdanos at PsychCentral explains the positive things you can do when you put yourself in those uncomfortable situations:
Use critical thinking, reasoning and problem-solving techniques on your own so you will trust your instincts more. Resist the urge to blame others. Also resist the urge to expect too much from them. We often give too much credence to "experts" (they need help, too) when each of us knows our own motivations better than anyone else. You are creative and resourceful enough to find ways that work best for how you are wired, so try to go at it alone...
No one knows you more than you, but when you run from difficult circumstances or uncomfortable situations, you don't even give yourself the chance to prove that you can overcome. It's all about environment. If you want to get better at dealing with heat, then you go to the desert. If you want to get better at dealing with cold, then you go up to the mountains. If you want to get better at dealing with stressful situations, then you go to the stressful situations.
Sticking through tough times can give you the confidence you need to keep your composure when stuff hits the fan. It's okay to be in touch with emotions, but having some control over them is beneficial. Instead of emitting an emotional response that stems from your discomfort and fear of the situation, you'll be capable of checking emotions at the door and taking care of business in a calm and efficient way.

Find Your Source of Motivation

Even if you maintain realistic expectations, and you're capable of keeping emotions in check, you still need some motivation from inside of you to keep on keepin' on. Whether you're tackling a problem, handling a difficult life event, or looking for a way to push yourself harder during your next workout, you need to stay motivated. So where do you find motivation? The simple answer is that you have to ask yourself, "why?"
  • Why do I need to solve this problem?
  • Why do I need to get through this?
  • Why do I need to get stronger, faster, healthier?
Asking yourself these types of questions helps identify the true reason you need or want to accomplish something. Answers like "because I have to" don't help you. When something difficult comes your way in life, you don't always have a choice on whether you want to get through it or not, but there is always a better reason than "I have to." Have a specific goal in mind, and look at the possible reactions to your actions. Think of something or someone that depends on you, and imagine you're a soldier with a sense of duty to yourself and others. Your reasons to act might be something like:
  • Because I want to be better at what I do.
  • Because this person needs me.
  • Because I want to live longer / look a certain way / feel a certain way.
When you know why you need to get through something it makes it easier to suck it up and carry on, but you also need the willpower to break through the barriers you might come across. Building up willpower takes time, but you can do so by developing simple, unrelated habits. For example, if you're bad at flossing, push yourself to floss when you shower. You'll forget some days, and other days you might lazily avoid it, but if you keep at it, eventually you'll maintain your simple habit without thinking about it. 

Little boosts in willpower increase your confidence, and when you accomplish little things, you begin to see that you really do have control of yourself. You might think of willpower as a finite resource, but you have as much willpower as you believe you have. Challenge yourself and you'll find that motivation is easy to come by when you actually believe you're capable of overcoming things.

Learn to Delay Gratification and Let Things Go

We've talked a lot about failure and how it can be beneficial for you, but learning to take failure in stride is an important factor of being mentally strong. Dr. Sean Richardson spoke about failure and its relation to mental toughness in a November, 2011 TEDx talk. In the talk, Richardson explains that the development of mental toughness can stem from looking at failure as a delay of gratification:
...accepting failure, being okay with not getting what you want right now, is one of the best, best success strategies, but it takes mental toughness…
Being capable of delaying your own gratification—or saying no to easy, instant gratification—is really what being mentally tough is all about. Great things are never easy to do, and if you can make yourself work hard and wait patiently, you will understand what it means to have mental toughness. You need to let go of mistakes quickly if things don't go your way, and understand the time and patience it takes to accomplish things. Mental toughness is as much about telling yourself no, as it is about telling yourself that you can persevere.

Some things aren't always worth your time, though. You are a capable person, and you can get through whatever comes your way, but you can't impact every single thing out there. You have to accept that you can only control so much. Jeff Haden at Inc. suggests putting aside things you can't control to save energy for the things you can:
Mental strength is like muscle strength—no one has an unlimited supply. So why waste your power on things you can't control? For some people, it's politics. For others, it's family. For others, it's global warming. Whatever it is, you care, and you want others to care. Fine. Do what you can do: Vote. Lend a listening ear. Recycle, and reduce your carbon footprint. Do what you can do. Be your own change—but don't try to make everyone else change.
Remember, mental toughness is about building the strength and resilience to do the things you need to do and the things you want to do. Don't make it harder on yourself by trying to keep strong for something that doesn't benefit you or your goal. Some things you just have to completely let go.



Developing mental toughness is a process and it's not something you can conjure overnight. It takes a lot of patience and a conscious effort to become more resilient. Some things are bigger than all of us, but mental toughness can be your armor that glances the smaller blows away. If you have reasonable expectations, control over your emotions, strong motivation, and the patience to see things all the way through, you won't ever sweat the small stuff and you'll be better equipped to handle the big things in your life.

20140817

6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person

By David Wong

Feel free to stop reading this if your career is going great, you're thrilled with your life, and you're happy with your relationships. Enjoy the rest of your day, friend, this article is not for you. You're doing a great job, we're all proud of you. So you don't feel like you wasted your click, here's a picture of Lenny Kravitz wearing a gigantic scarf.

For the rest of you, I want you to try something: Name five impressive things about yourself. Write them down or just shout them out loud to the room. But here's the catch -- you're not allowed to list anything you are (i.e., I'm a nice guy, I'm honest), but instead can only list things that you do (i.e., I just won a national chess tournament, I make the best chili in Massachusetts). If you found that difficult, well, this is for you, and you are going to fucking hate hearing it. My only defense is that this is what I wish somebody had said to me around 1995 or so.

Note: I originally posted this in December of 2012, and to date it has drawn more than 12 million page views and been shared on Facebook nearly half a million times. We decided to update it and post it again, and by update I mean change the year to 2014. -DW

#6. The World Only Cares About What It Can Get from You

Let's say that the person you love the most has just been shot. He or she is lying in the street, bleeding and screaming. A guy rushes up and says, "Step aside." He looks over your loved one's bullet wound and pulls out a pocket knife -- he's going to operate right there in the street.

You ask, "Are you a doctor?"

The guy says, "No."

You say, "But you know what you're doing, right? You're an old Army medic, or ..."

At this point the guy becomes annoyed. He tells you that he is a nice guy, he is honest, he is always on time. He tells you that he is a great son to his mother and has a rich life full of fulfilling hobbies, and he boasts that he never uses foul language.

Confused, you say, "How does any of that fucking matter when my [wife/husband/best friend/parent] is lying here bleeding! I need somebody who knows how to operate on bullet wounds! Can you do that or not?!?"

Now the man becomes agitated -- why are you being shallow and selfish? Do you not care about any of his other good qualities? Didn't you just hear him say that he always remembers his girlfriend's birthday? In light of all of the good things he does, does it really matter if he knows how to perform surgery?

In that panicked moment, you will take your bloody hands and shake him by the shoulders, screaming, "Yes, I'm saying that none of that other shit matters, because in this specific situation, I just need somebody who can stop the bleeding, you crazy fucking asshole."

So here is my terrible truth about the adult world: You are in that very situation every single day. Only you are the confused guy with the pocket knife. All of society is the bleeding gunshot victim.

If you want to know why society seems to shun you, or why you seem to get no respect, it's because society is full of people who need things. They need houses built, they need food to eat, they need entertainment, they need fulfilling sexual relationships. You arrived at the scene of that emergency, holding your pocket knife, by virtue of your birth -- the moment you came into the world, you became part of a system designed purely to see to people's needs.

Either you will go about the task of seeing to those needs by learning a unique set of skills, or the world will reject you, no matter how kind, giving, and polite you are. You will be poor, you will be alone, you will be left out in the cold.

Does that seem mean, or crass, or materialistic? What about love and kindness -- don't those things matter? Of course. As long as they result in you doing things for people that they can't get elsewhere. For you see ...

#5. The Hippies Were Wrong

There is a great scene in the history of movies - it's the famous speech Alec Baldwin gives in the cinematic masterpiece Glengarry Glenn Ross. Baldwin's character -- whom you assume is the villain -- addresses a room full of dudes and tears them a new asshole, telling them that they're all about to be fired unless they "close" the sales they've been assigned:

"Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids. If you want to work here, close."

It's brutal, rude, and borderline sociopathic, and also it is an honest and accurate expression of what the world is going to expect from you. The difference is that, in the real world, people consider it so wrong to talk to you that way that they've decided it's better to simply let you keep failing.

That scene changed my life. I'd program my alarm clock to play it for me every morning if I knew how. Alec Baldwin was nominated for an Oscar for that movie and that's the only scene he's in. As smarter people have pointed out, the genius of that speech is that half of the people who watch it think that the point of the scene is "Wow, what must it be like to have such an asshole boss?" and the other half think, "Fuck yes, let's go out and sell some goddamned real estate!"

Or, as the Last Psychiatrist blog put it:

"If you were in that room, some of you would understand this as a work, but feed off the energy of the message anyway, welcome the coach's cursing at you, 'this guy is awesome!'; while some of you would take it personally, this guy is a jerk, you have no right to talk to me like that, or -- the standard maneuver when narcissism is confronted with a greater power -- quietly seethe and fantasize about finding information that will out him as a hypocrite. So satisfying."

That excerpt is from an insightful critique of "hipsters" and why they seem to have so much trouble getting jobs (that doesn't begin to do it justice, go read the whole thing), and the point is that the difference in those two attitudes -- bitter vs. motivated -- largely determines whether or not you'll succeed in the world. For instance, some people want to respond to that speech with Tyler Durden's line from Fight Club: "You are not your job."

But, well, actually, you totally are. Granted, your "job" and your means of employment might not be the same thing, but in both cases you are nothing more than the sum total of your useful skills. For instance, being a good mother is a job that requires a skill. It's something a person can do that is useful to other members of society. But make no mistake: Your "job" -- the useful thing you do for other people -- is all you are.

There is a reason why surgeons get more respect than comedy writers. There is a reason mechanics get more respect than unemployed hipsters. There is a reason your job will become your label if your death makes the news ("NFL Linebacker Dies in Murder/Suicide"). Tyler said, "You are not your job," but he also founded and ran a successful soap company and became the head of an international social and political movement. He was totally his job.

Or think of it this way: Remember when Chick-fil-A came out against gay marriage? And how despite the protests, the company continues to sell millions of sandwiches every day? It's not because the country agrees with them; it's because they do their job of making delicious sandwiches well. And that's all that matters.

You don't have to like it. I don't like it when it rains on my birthday. It rains anyway. Clouds form and precipitation happens. People have needs and thus assign value to the people who meet them. These are simple mechanisms of the universe and they do not respond to our wishes.

If you protest that you're not a shallow capitalist materialist and that you disagree that money is everything, I can only say: Who said anything about money? You're missing the larger point.

#4. What You Produce Does Not Have to Make Money, But It Does Have to Benefit People

Let's try a non-money example so you don't get hung up on that. The demographic that Cracked writes for is heavy on 20-something males. So on our message boards and in my many inboxes I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won't come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world. I can explain what is wrong with this mindset, but it would probably be better if I let Alec Baldwin explain it:

In this case, Baldwin is playing the part of the attractive women in your life. They won't put it as bluntly as he does -- society has trained us not to be this honest with people -- but the equation is the same. "Nice guy? Who gives a shit? If you want to work here, close."

So, what do you bring to the table? Because the Zooey Deschanel lookalike in the bookstore that you've been daydreaming about moisturizes her face for an hour every night and feels guilty when she eats anything other than salad for lunch. She's going to be a surgeon in 10 years. What do you do?

"What, so you're saying that I can't get girls like that unless I have a nice job and make lots of money?"

No, your brain jumps to that conclusion so you have an excuse to write off everyone who rejects you by thinking that they're just being shallow and selfish. I'm asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don't say that you're a nice guy -- that's the bare minimum. Pretty girls have guys being nice to them 36 times a day. The patient is bleeding in the street. Do you know how to operate or not?

"Well, I'm not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!"

I'm sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don't have, then back the fuck away from the patient. There's a witty, handsome guy with a promising career ready to step in and operate.

Does that break your heart? OK, so now what? Are you going to mope about it, or are you going to learn how to do surgery? It's up to you, but don't complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. "But I'm a great listener!" Are you? Because you're willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well guess what, there's another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you're a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn't make you sick. You're like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is "The actors are clearly visible."

I think this is why you can be a "nice guy" and still feel terrible about yourself. Specifically ...

#3. You Hate Yourself Because You Don't Do Anything

"So, what, you're saying that I should pick up a book on how to get girls?"

Only if step one in the book is "Start making yourself into the type of person girls want to be around."

Because that's the step that gets skipped -- it's always "How can I get a job?" and not "How can I become the type of person employers want?" It's "How can I get pretty girls to like me?" instead of "How can I become the type of person that pretty girls like?" See, because that second one could very well require giving up many of your favorite hobbies and paying more attention to your appearance, and God knows what else. You might even have to change your personality.

"But why can't I find someone who just likes me for me?" you ask. The answer is because humans need things. The victim is bleeding, and all you can do is look down and complain that there aren't more gunshot wounds that just fix themselves?

Here's another video (NSFW):
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Everyone who watched that video instantly became a little happier, although not all for the same reasons. Can you do that for people? Why not? What's stopping you from strapping on your proverbial thong and cape and taking to your proverbial stage and flapping your proverbial penis at people? That guy knows the secret to winning at human life: that doing ... whatever you call that ... was better than not doing it.

"But I'm not good at anything!" Well, I have good news -- throw enough hours of repetition at it and you can get sort of good at anything. I was the world's shittiest writer when I was an infant. I was only slightly better at 25. But while I was failing miserably at my career, I wrote in my spare time for eight straight years, an article a week, before I ever made real money off it. It took 13 years for me to get good enough to make the New York Times best-seller list. It took me probably 20,000 hours of practice to sand the edges off my sucking.

Don't like the prospect of pouring all of that time into a skill? Well, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that the sheer act of practicing will help you come out of your shell -- I got through years of tedious office work because I knew that I was learning a unique skill on the side. People quit because it takes too long to see results, because they can't figure out that the process is the result.

The bad news is that you have no other choice. If you want to work here, close.

Because in my non-expert opinion, you don't hate yourself because you have low self-esteem, or because other people were mean to you. You hate yourself because you don't do anything. Not even you can just "love you for you" -- that's why you're miserable and sending me private messages asking me what I think you should do with your life.

Do the math: How much of your time is spent consuming things other people made (TV, music, video games, websites) versus making your own? Only one of those adds to your value as a human being.

And if you hate hearing this and are responding with something you heard as a kid that sounds like "It's what's on the inside that matters!" then I can only say ...

#2. What You Are Inside Only Matters Because of What It Makes You Do

Being in the business I'm in, I know dozens of aspiring writers. They think of themselves as writers, they introduce themselves as writers at parties, they know that deep inside, they have the heart of a writer. The only thing they're missing is that minor final step, where they actually fucking write things.

But really, does that matter? Is "writing things" all that important when deciding who is and who is not truly a "writer"?

For the love of God, yes.

See, there's a common defense to everything I've said so far, and to every critical voice in your life. It's the thing your ego is saying to you in order to prevent you from having to do the hard work of improving: "I know I'm a good person on the inside." It may also be phrased as "I know who I am" or "I just have to be me."

Don't get me wrong; who you are inside is everything -- the guy who built a house for his family from scratch did it because of who he was inside. Every bad thing you've ever done has started with a bad impulse, some thought ricocheting around inside your skull until you had to act on it. And every good thing you've done is the same -- "who you are inside" is the metaphorical dirt from which your fruit grows.

But here's what everyone needs to know, and what many of you can't accept:

"You" are nothing but the fruit.

Nobody cares about your dirt. "Who you are inside" is meaningless aside from what it produces for other people.

Inside, you have great compassion for poor people. Great. Does that result in you doing anything about it? Do you hear about some terrible tragedy in your community and say, "Oh, those poor children. Let them know that they are in my thoughts"? Because fuck you if so -- find out what they need and help provide it. A hundred million people watched that Kony video, virtually all of whom kept those poor African children "in their thoughts." What did the collective power of those good thoughts provide? Jack fucking shit. Children die every day because millions of us tell ourselves that caring is just as good as doing. It's an internal mechanism controlled by the lazy part of your brain to keep you from actually doing work.

How many of you are walking around right now saying, "She/he would love me if she/he only knew what an interesting person I am!" Really? How do all of your interesting thoughts and ideas manifest themselves in the world? What do they cause you to do? If your dream girl or guy had a hidden camera that followed you around for a month, would they be impressed with what they saw? Remember, they can't read your mind -- they can only observe. Would they want to be a part of that life?

Because all I'm asking you to do is apply the same standard to yourself that you apply to everyone else. Don't you have that annoying Christian friend whose only offer to help anyone ever is to "pray for them"? Doesn't it drive you nuts? I'm not even commenting on whether or not prayer works; it doesn't change the fact that they chose the one type of help that doesn't require them to get off the sofa. They abstain from every vice, they think clean thoughts, their internal dirt is as pure as can be, but what fruit grows from it? And they should know this better than anybody -- I stole the fruit metaphor from the Bible. Jesus said something to the effect of "a tree is judged by its fruit" over and over and over. Granted, Jesus never said, "If you want to work here, close." No, he said, "Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire."

The people didn't react well to being told that, just as the salesmen didn't react well to Alec Baldwin telling them that they needed to grow some balls or resign themselves to shining his shoes. Which brings us to the final point ...

#1. Everything Inside You Will Fight Improvement

The human mind is a miracle, and you will never see it spring more beautifully into action than when it is fighting against evidence that it needs to change. Your psyche is equipped with layer after layer of defense mechanisms designed to shoot down anything that might keep things from staying exactly where they are -- ask any addict.

So even now, some of you reading this are feeling your brain bombard you with knee-jerk reasons to reject it. From experience, I can say that these seem to come in the form of ...

*Intentionally Interpreting Any Criticism as an Insult

"Who is he to call me lazy and worthless! A good person would never talk to me like this! He wrote this whole thing just to feel superior to me and to make me feel bad about my life! I'm going to think up my own insult to even the score!"

*Focusing on the Messenger to Avoid Hearing the Message

"Who is THIS guy to tell ME how to live? Oh, like he's so high and mighty! It's just some dumb writer on the Internet! I'm going to go dig up something on him that reassures me that he's stupid, and that everything he's saying is stupid! This guy is so pretentious, it makes me puke! I watched his old rap video on YouTube and thought his rhymes sucked!"

*Focusing on the Tone to Avoid Hearing the Content

"I'm going to dig through here until I find a joke that is offensive when taken out of context, and then talk and think only about that! I've heard that a single offensive word can render an entire book invisible!"

*Revising Your Own History

"Things aren't so bad! I know that I was threatening suicide last month, but I'm feeling better now! It's entirely possible that if I just keep doing exactly what I'm doing, eventually things will work out! I'll get my big break, and if I keep doing favors for that pretty girl, eventually she'll come around!"

*Pretending That Any Self-Improvement Would Somehow Be Selling Out Your True Self

"Oh, so I guess I'm supposed to get rid of all of my manga and instead go to the gym for six hours a day and get a spray tan like those Jersey Shore douchebags? Because THAT IS THE ONLY OTHER OPTION."

And so on. Remember, misery is comfortable. It's why so many people prefer it. Happiness takes effort.

Also, courage. It's incredibly comforting to know that as long as you don't create anything in your life, then nobody can attack the thing you created.

It's so much easier to just sit back and criticize other people's creations. This movie is stupid. That couple's kids are brats. That other couple's relationship is a mess. That rich guy is shallow. This restaurant sucks. This Internet writer is an asshole. I'd better leave a mean comment demanding that the website fire him. See, I created something.

Oh, wait, did I forget to mention that part? Yeah, whatever you try to build or create -- be it a poem, or a new skill, or a new relationship -- you will find yourself immediately surrounded by non-creators who trash it. Maybe not to your face, but they'll do it. Your drunk friends do not want you to get sober. Your fat friends do not want you to start a fitness regimen. Your jobless friends do not want to see you embark on a career.

Just remember, they're only expressing their own fear, since trashing other people's work is another excuse to do nothing. "Why should I create anything when the things other people create suck? I would totally have written a novel by now, but I'm going to wait for something good, I don't want to write the next Twilight!" As long as they never produce anything, their work will forever be perfect and beyond reproach. Or if they do produce something, they'll make sure they do it with detached irony. They'll make it intentionally bad to make it clear to everyone else that this isn't their real effort. Their real effort would have been amazing. Not like the shit you made.


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Read our article comments -- when they get nasty, it's always from the same angle: Cracked needs to fire this columnist. This asshole needs to stop writing. Don't make any more videos. It always boils down to "Stop creating. This is different from what I would have made, and the attention you're getting is making me feel bad about myself."

Don't be that person. If you are that person, don't be that person any more. This is what's making people hate you. This is what's making you hate yourself.

So how about this: one year. The end of 2014, that's our deadline. Or a year from whenever you read this. While other people are telling you "Let's make a New Year's resolution to lose 15 pounds this year!" I'm going to say let's pledge to do fucking anything -- add any skill, any improvement to your human tool set, and get good enough at it to impress people. Don't ask me what -- hell, pick something at random if you don't know. Take a class in karate, or ballroom dancing, or pottery. Learn to bake. Build a birdhouse. Learn massage. Learn a programming language. Film a porno. Adopt a superhero persona and fight crime. Start a YouTube vlog. Write for Cracked.

But the key is, I don't want you to focus on something great that you're going to make happen to you ("I'm going to find a girlfriend, I'm going to make lots of money ..."). I want you to purely focus on giving yourself a skill that would make you ever so slightly more interesting and valuable to other people.

"I don't have the money to take a cooking class." Then fucking Google "how to cook." They've even filtered out the porn now, it's easier than ever. Damn it, you have to kill those excuses. Or they will kill you.

If you want to make note of your project in the forum thread or the comments and check in this time next year, knock yourself out. I'll be curious to see if even one person actually does this, but if so we'll look back, not just on whether or not we actually followed through, but why. You have nothing to lose, and the world needs you. Here's a video of a corgi rolling down some stairs.

20140813

Top 5 Physical Attributes Women Want

30%
1. Sense of Style
The way you dress reflects on the woman you're with, and she knows it. The man who knows how to match a patterned shirt and tie will notice when she's dressed well, too. (And maybe he'll pay for the Blahniks.) Keep your tailor and your dry cleaner busy, and spring for posh, touchable fabrics like cashmere, suede, pima cotton, and brushed corduroy.

26%
2. Handsome Face
The science of attraction, which has been studied ad infinitum, says it's all about symmetry. Imagine you have a dotted red line (Nip/Tuck style) vertically through the center of your face, down your nose. Are your features similar in form and arrangement on both sides of the line? Do your eyes and ears match up? The closer one side mirrors the other, the more attractive you are. Women in cross-cultural studies have also ranked men with broad chins, high cheekbones, and large eyes as the most attractive. Best way to improve your looks: Smile more, and make certain your sideburns are even.

15%
3. Height
Tall, dark, and handsome isn't the be-all and end-all. Women say they like feeling smaller than their men, but height doesn't necessarily mean might. They will feel comfortable as long as they aren't towering over you.

13%
4. Muscular Build
Spend more time with the bathroom mirror and less time with the gym mirror. Nearly three times as many women value a clean-shaven face over the clean and jerk. Muscles help ward off rivals and assure a woman that you won't drop her during a dip, but your overall appearance is more important than the size of your biceps.

12%
5. Fitness
Women recognize a good body as indicative of a man of discipline and self-control. It tells a woman you can keep up with her, in bed and out.

Top 5 Practical Skills Women Want

53%
1. Listening
Pay attention. A woman feels safe and secure when she knows her man will put down his BlackBerry and listen to her. Magic words: "I'm here. Tell me everything."

48%
2. Romancing
Romance appeals to a woman's right-brained, less-logical side. Every woman fantasizes about being swept off her feet. Romance is bold because you're displaying your desire for a woman and revealing a softer, more vulnerable side that women find irresistible.

35%
3. Being Good in Bed
It's not just the orgasms. A woman knows that a man who takes care of her in bed will take care of her out of bed. (Of course, the orgasms don't hurt.) Your enthusiasm for her body is more important than your sexual prowess.

23%
4. Cooking, Cleaning, etc.
Self-sufficiency means you're not going to expect her to be like your mother. Learn how to make one or two killer breakfasts or dinners, and you'll win her heart.

21%
5. Earning Potential
One in five women surveyed said a man's successfulness in his career contributes to his sexiness. If you've demonstrated talent, goal achievement, and follow-through, you give women confidence that you will be a good provider.

Top 5 Personality Traits Women Want

77%
1. Sense of Humor
Being able to laugh at the stresses of this world is a must, according to the women on our panel. You get bonus points if you can make them laugh. Humor tells a woman that you can laugh at—read, handle easily—the many difficulties that life throws at you.

55%
2. Intelligence
A worldy, interesting man is a man she likes to show off. Men who are take-charge problem solvers make women feel secure, and men who are always improving are never boring.

46%
3. Passion
Why have women always melted for musicians? Because rock stars are passionate in public. Women like displays of passion because they're not accustomed to seeing them from men. Get passionate about something: kayaking, impressionistic art, barbecuing, or Habitat for Humanity. It's proof that you care for and about something beyond yourself.

41%
4. Confidence
A man who feels secure in his own skin makes the woman he's with feel secure. By showing you can handle unfamiliar people or situations, you tell the woman in your life that she need not fear, either.

38%
5. Generosity
This is more important to women over 35 than it is to those under that age. Generosity, however, doesn't just mean springing for dinner at a four-star. Your willingness to give your time and lend your ear is what women crave.

Top 5 Character Traits Women Want

84%
1. Faithfulness
More than 8 out of 10 women rated "faithful to me" in the top 10 attributes they find sexy in a man. A woman's tendency toward attachment is a biological imperative, a matter of raising offspring right. Reassure her (often) that you're not going anywhere.

75%
2. Dependability
Three out of four women say they look for a man who makes commitments and follows through. Being responsible—even if it's just remembering to pick up salad dressing on your way over to her place—sends a positive signal that someday you might commit.

67%
3. Kindness
Young women may still fall for the bad-boy type, but more-mature women are turned on by kindness, because kindness inspires confidence. In other words, if you treat the waitress well, your date figures you'll treat her well, too.

66%
4. Moral Integrity
Having the guts to tell the truth means to a woman that you have the guts to be a good, caring, decent partner over the long haul. White lies are okay; just avoid any that are tinged with gray.

51%
5. Fatherliness
Being a good dad (or having the potential to become one) is about being a good role model—and about being patient and caring, qualities women like in a partner. If you're not a father, then tell her about your favorite niece or nephew, or the employee you're mentoring at work.

20140810

The Seven Basic Plots

Christopher Booker's The Seven Basic Plots is a long book. It's on the order of War and Peace for thickness. It also gets a bit repetitive at times, but if you can slog through the material, you're rewarded with a good understanding of the seven basic plots. You can also get a good dose of Jungian psychology to boot; for instance, Booker likes to talk about the symbolism of the masculine and feminine aspects of a character.That being said, here are Booker's seven plots:

Summary

Overcoming the MonsterHero learns of a great evil threatening the land, and sets out to destroy it.Rags to RichesSurrounded by dark forces who suppress and ridicule him, the Hero slowly blossoms into a mature figure who ultimately gets riches, a kingdom, and the perfect mate.The QuestHero learns of a great MacGuffin that he desperately wants to find, and sets out to find it, often with companions.Voyage and ReturnHero heads off into a magic land with crazy rules, ultimately triumphs over the madness and returns home far more mature than when he set out.ComedyHero and Heroine are destined to get together, but a dark force is preventing them from doing so; the story conspires to make the dark force repent, and suddenly the Hero and Heroine are free to get together. This is part of a cascade of effects that shows everyone for who they really are, and allows two or more other relationships to correctly form.TragedyThe flip side of the Overcoming the Monster plot. Our protagonist character is the Villain, but we get to watch him slowly spiral down into darkness before he's finally defeated, freeing the land from his evil influence.RebirthAs with the Tragedy plot, but our protagonist manages to realize his error before it's too late, and does a Heel-Face Turn to avoid inevitable defeat.

The Plots in Detail

Overcoming the Monster

A hero learns of a great evil overshadowing the land (sometimes not his own land). He gets special equipment, weapons, or skills, then heads out and defeats the evil, freeing the land.
The first half of one of the oldest known stories, The Epic of Gilgamesh, is set in this form. So is the first James Bond movie Dr. No, and of course a wealth of stories in between. Also the base for many video games, e.g. any Super Mario jump'n'run. Here's the gist of how the stages run:

Anticipation Stage and Call

The fearsome Monster makes his presence known, often from "a great distance" although occasionally more up close and personal. Its nature is base and vile, a picture of the dark side of humanity. To drive this home, it is "highly alarming in its appearance and behaviour"... treacherous and deadly, ugly or ill-formed, and, often, "something about its nature [is] mysterious... hard to define" (elusive, shapeless, nightmarish).The Monster may be humanoid, animal, or a combination of both (e.g., the Minotaur). If it's humanoid, it will still have bestial qualities, as well as some deformity or abnormality that shows it as not quite human (abnormal size counts). If it's physically an animal, it will be "invested with attributes no animal in nature would possess, such as a peculiar cunning or malevolence" - thus partly human. As for combinations: We tend to imagine creatures composed of things we know, such as the dragon with "a reptilian body, a bat's wings and the head of a giant toad or lizard." (Hey, even when we craft eldritch abominations we give them a squid's tentacles, right?)During the course of the story, the Monster may take on any of three basic roles:
  1. Predator: Prowls around, trying to find victims. The Devil goes about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.
  2. Holdfast: Zealously guards a Treasure or a Princess. Very suspicious of any strangers, but may be sleeping when the Hero comes to claim it.
  3. Avenger: "When its guardianship is in any way challenged," the Monster rushes out to find and destroy those who've taken its Treasure.
All three are found in the pattern story "Jack and the Beanstalk": First it's "Fee fi fo fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman," then it's the sleeping giant guarding his treasures, and finally it's the angry giant pursuing Jack across the clouds and down the beanstalk.Anyway. So the Monster poses a grave threat. Who's going to stop him? The Hero, who receives his Call to Adventure. If he's smart, he heads out immediately (since The Call Knows Where You Live!) - and after all, who else is gonna kill that thing?

Dream Stage

The Hero prepares for battle while moving closer to the Monster (either he's heading out, or the Monster's approaching his home). But the danger is still "comfortably remote" and everything seems to be working out okay.

Frustration Stage

The Monster shows up and shows off, "in all his awesome power." There's no contest here: No way the Hero can beat a thing this strong! At this point, the Hero seems to be "slipping into the monster's power" and "may even fall helplessly into the monster's clutches."

Nightmare Stage

Time for the climactic battle. The odds seem to be against our Hero even surviving this fight. But, of course, we know how these things turn out, right?

The Thrilling Escape from Death, and Death of the Monster

The Monster's power is broken, and it dies; the people who had been under its power are liberated; the Hero emerges victorious.To symbolically complete the tale, the Hero receives three things:
  1. A treasure (an inheritance counts)
  2. A kingdom (something to rule over, e.g., a cook hero might get his own restaurant)
  3. A Princess (or, in the case of a female Hero, a Prince - either way, it's the ultimate mate, the Hero's other half)
And they all lived Happily Ever After.

Rags to Riches

A young child grows up surrounded by shadowy figures who suppress and ridicule her, but through great testing she slowly blossoms into a mature figure fully worthy of her happy ending.
The basic tale behind such gems as "Aladdin" and "Cinderella" (that one's technically riches to rags to royalty and riches), this shows the character arc, from an impoverished beginning to a complete, Happily Ever After end. At the end the character should have status, riches, and a mate, and often a kingdom as well. (A more modern spin on the plot, the Coming of Age Story, may eschew the kingdom and downplay the initial "rags" aspect, as neither is something a modern reader would have much personal experience with, but the arc is otherwise the same.)Key to this basic plot is the false ending, in which the hero appears to have gained her heart's desire — but it is too early, and she is too immature, so she loses it all, usually through some fault of her own (though not necessarily matched to the enormity of the loss). This loss is the most devastating blow to the hero, prior to the story's climax. In "Aladdin" it's the moment when the evil wizard uses the genie to steal the princess (note that the genie was lost because Aladdin failed to either keep it with him or inform his wife of the importance of the lamp).In another example (David Copperfield by Charles Dickens), the false ending is marriage to an immature wife, who soon dies - so the hero may actually lose the thing he wanted completely, only to get a better thing (a mature wife) by the end.Anyway, here are the stages:

Initial Wretchedness at Home and the Call

Far more than any other story, this is a story whose backbone is the Hero's growth arc. We start with a very young Hero in a "lowly and unhappy state, usually at home." Antagonists of various sorts "scorn or maltreat" the Hero - though that is merely "the most obvious reason" for her unhappiness.This lasts until she receives The Call and either heads out, or is sent out, into the world.

Out into the World, Initial Success

After a few minor ordeals, the Hero gets a quick but limited success, "some prevision of their eventual glorious destiny." She may even meet her Prince, may outshine her rivals - but she's not ready for this yet. It is pretty clear that she's got a long way to go toward maturity before she can truly succeed.

The Central Crisis

"Everything suddenly goes wrong." Some of the dark figures from her past might reappear. The initial win is stripped away and the Hero is separated from that which she values most - especially her Prince. (Note: The separation may be physical, or it may be, for example, due to slander or other misinformation.) The Hero is "overwhelmed with despair" and this is clearly "their worst moment in the story."

Independence and the Final Ordeal

In "Aladdin", the poor boy has lost his Princess and his palace, and on top of that his father-in-law has sentenced him to death if he can't bring them all back. More important to the story: He's lost his genie, the magical power that was letting him do all the cool stuff for the first half of the story. Now he's got to rely on his wits and his natural skills - no more easy outs. But in doing this on his own, he's developing his independence and proving that he is worthy of achieving his goal.After the ordeals that show off the Hero's newfound strength, the Hero must undergo one final test, one climactic battle against the Big Bad "who stands between them and their goal."

Final Union, Completion, and Fulfillment

At last the Hero emerges victorious, and lays claim to the treasure, the kingdom, and the Prince.

The Quest

Show us a list of basic plots that doesn't have The Quest on it. (Don't worry, we'll wait.) Here, it's the search for an object, a location or some information that requires our Hero to leave their (usually) everyday life to find. It's the basic plot most likely to include a party instead of a lone hero. Booker allows for four basic party types: So here's how this plot works out:

The Call

The Hero finds it impossible to remain at home. Often it's because The Quest is to find a MacGuffin that will save his hometown. Other times it's because he's already got a Doomed Hometown and is hoping to find a new home. It may be that he's escaping from slavery or trying to set others free. Whatever the case, Refusal of the Call just isn't an option.What helps matters is some level of "supernatural or visionary direction" explaining where to go, how to get there, what to do. And it's time for him to set off, his eyes set on that "distant, life-renewing goal."

The Journey

The party heads out over hostile terrain. Here begins the episodic nature of The Quest: The heroes face an obstacle, the heroes overcome it, again and again and again. Obstacles tend to come in a few distinct flavors:

Monsters

Fight them. Kill them. (Or escape, at the very least.) It's like a miniature form of the Overcoming the Monster story, so play up the nature of the beast.

Temptations

Booker further divides these into the four categories found in The Odyssey:
  1. "The beautiful but deadly sirens" whose "only aim is to kill."
  2. Circe, who imprisons but does not kill.
  3. Calypso, who "so captivates [Odysseus] that he stays seven years in her cave" - but "he stays voluntarily."
  4. The Land of the Lotus Eaters, "which saps all will in an atmosphere of relaxed self-indulgence."
...So, we guess, the four divisions are Death, Captivity, Distraction, and Self-indulgence.Anyway, temptations are to be resisted.(Booker doesn't explicitly include "Illusions" or "Trickery" but maybe they ought to go here. Falling prey to an illusion or buying into a false story seems to fit this general pattern.)

Deadly Opposites

The Hero sees the road up ahead leading between two roaring lions. Or between a giant whirlpool and a giant sea monster. Or between two giant walls of crushing water. Maybe he has to balance on a thin ledge of rock without falling to one side or the other.This can be a less literal path, of course, but Booker works with the most visual forms. Somehow or other, the Hero must tread a narrow path between two dangers, and any misstep will lead to certain doom. (So don't ignore your tour guides!!)

Journey to the Underworld

The climb down into the world of death, and the encounter with the spirits there, is a classic motif. Often the spirits can give the Hero some information about his journey that no living being could know, thus enabling him to head the right way or to avoid some upcoming danger.In between the various tests come periods of rest and succor, during which the party receives advice about the path ahead. (Booker claims this is often from a wise old man and a beautiful young (or ageless) girl.)

Arrival and Frustration

We reach the halfway mark, and the journey part is over. But - gasp! - the story has a long way to go! The party is within sight of the goal, but now sees a series of obstacles yet to be overcome.In The Odyssey, this is when Odysseus arrives home but still has to deal with the suitors before he can claim his wife and home as his own again.

The Final Ordeals

A "last series of tests," often following the Rule of Three (Booker's big on that). The final test - which is "the most threatening of all" - may be a test that only the Hero can pass.Then there's a "thrilling escape from death."

The Goal

The Hero has won it all: treasure, kingdom, and Princess. There is "an assurance of renewed life stretching indefinitely into the future."

Voyage and Return

The Hero enters a Magical Land where normal rules don't apply, happily explores for a while, then encounters a darker side of things; he conquers or escapes, in the process overcoming a character flaw, and returns home far more mature than when he left.
This is the backbone for Alice in Wonderland and Labyrinth, and the framing concept for The Chronicles of Narnia.It's an obvious plot for dreams. Then again, it's also one of the most common plots used in kiddie books, since it's an easy way for a kid to explore an immaturity (e.g., fear of the dark) and symbolically conquer it - secure in the knowledge that when he finally gets home, everything will be just as he left it. Nothing has changed except the kid.And, of course, there's the wondrous realm of magic and monsters to explore. It's a realm where intuition rules, rather than logic - common sense gets thrown out the window. The Hero has to rely on the advice of allies - unfortunately, most of them are Tricksters, and a few might even be leading him into danger. Then again, if he's a good kid, he'll probably be able to follow his heart - it'll lead him into problems at times, but it'll all work out in the long run. This is the way plenty of fairy tales run.At any rate, the story stays pretty light at first - amusing, whimsical, fun - until suddenly things take a dark turn. The Hero has to pass some ordeals, then finally overcomes one final threat, makes a "thrilling escape from death," and returns home mature but physically unchanged.Generally speaking (according to Booker), at the end of the story, a hero who has failed to join himself to a suitable cross-gendered mate is symbolically immature or unfinished. However, in Voyage and Return, the presence of a mate is actually a problem, since the hero can take nothing back with him but experience - hence he must leave his mate behind. Some stories attempt to avoid this problem by providing a parallel version of the hero's love when he returns home; see The One and The Forbidden Kingdom for two film examples. In other tales, they get by with a Your Universe or Mine? dilemma (see the movie Alice, where Hatter leaves his world to stay with Alice); sometimes this requires balance (if one person leaves the dream world, another must take their place), and other times it's explicitly prevented ("by staying where you don't belong, you're ripping the worlds apart!").So here are the basic steps in the Voyage and Return plot:

Anticipation Stage and 'Fall' into the Other World

The Hero's "consciousness is in some way restricted," most commonly because she's young, or because she has a serious flaw, or because she's "bored, or drowsy, or reckless." It is also commonly a blow to the head or some other injury. The character regains consciousness in an alternate reality.

Initial Fascination or Dream Stage

This new world is "puzzling and unfamiliar" - hence, cool! The hero explores.Booker does note that, no matter how cool this whole setup might seem, "it is never a place in which they can feel at home."

Frustration Stage

The "mood of the adventure" starts to darken. It's not as easy as before, and options are disappearing; the hero's starting to get hemmed in. "A shadow begins to intrude, which becomes increasingly alarming."

Nightmare Stage

The shadow takes center stage, and it looks like the hero is doomed!

Thrilling Escape and Return

Just when it looks like it's over, the hero makes a dramatic exit back to the world she came from.But the real question is: Was there any Character Development? "Have they been fundamentally changed, or was it all just a dream?"

Comedy

Comedy, for Booker, is the grand mesh of relationships among a large cast, rooted in miscommunication. The fog of misunderstanding is maintained by some dark figure, often the hero's parent but sometimes the hero himself; the focus of the dark energy is in keeping the hero apart from his other half.Unlike the other stories, the villain here is almost never just defeated; he is often redeemed, brought to a point where he admits wrongdoing and joyfully joins the party of the other characters released from the fog. The misunderstandings get cleared up, the relationships get properly aligned (eliminating any Love Dodecahedron problems), and everything gets brought to light.Basically, if there's three or more relationships being prevented mostly by misunderstanding or lack of acceptance, you're looking at Booker's definition of a Comedy, even if the tone is rather dark. William Shakespeare of course had several; George Bernard Shaw's Arms and the Man is another good example....will complete this later.

Tragedy

Tragedy is the flip side of Overcoming the Monster: It's the tale of the villain spiraling down into evil and then being defeated by the hero. Here, release comes only with the death or destruction of the main character. The end, however tragic, is seen as just, even if we can sympathize with the villain and see some of his choices as right or forced.Booker's prime example for Tragedy is King Lear, in which the Tragic Hero realizes his fault at the end and repents - too late to be saved.Here are the stages for Tragedy:

Anticipation Stage

The Hero gets focused on "some unusual gratification... object of desire or course of action." At this point, he is "incomplete or unfulfilled."

Dream Stage

Like in many other stories, the Tragic Hero gets "committed to his course of action" (Booker mentions Faust's Deal with the Devil as an example). There's no turning back now. However, at first "things go almost improbably well for the hero." Even if he's doing bad things, nobody seems to be catching on, or even if they catch on they seem unable or unwilling to stop him - he's "getting away with it."

Frustration Stage

Things start to go wrong... perhaps very slowly, "almost imperceptibly," but the Hero is starting to experience difficulties and annoyances. He may decide, at this point, to do "further dark acts which lock him into his course of action even more irrevocably."There may also appear some "shadow figure" which seems to threaten him (perhaps only in his imagination).

Nightmare Stage

Booker describes this stage better than we can: "...things are now slipping seriously out of the hero's control. He has a mounting sense of threat and despair. Forces of opposition and fate are closing in on him."

Destruction or Death Wish Stage

He's about to go down, hard. This is caused by either "some final act of violence" or because of the various enemies he's made - the "forces he has aroused against him."The Tragic Hero's death or destruction releases the world around him from the darkness he had wrought, and the world without him rejoices.

Rebirth

Rebirth is the more optimistic form of Tragedy, in which the villain spirals down into evil and then at the last second raises his head and gets pulled out of the mire by some redeeming figure, either his other half or a young child. The redeemer awakens the hero's ability to love (or feel compassion) and helps him also to see things as they are, including, sometimes, a reordering of priorities. Silas Marner is Booker's main example, in which a little girl helps the miser to stop caring so much about his lost gold.Booker doesn't give stages for this plot in the same fashion. However, it's mostly modeled on the Tragedy, with some Pet the Dog moments (to show the Hero is redeemable) and a different or extended ending. He does offer this "basic sequence" (quoted in full):
  1. a young hero or heroine falls under the shadow of the dark power;
  2. for a while, all may seem to go reasonably well, the threat may even seem to have receded;
  3. but eventually it all approaches again in full force, until the hero or heroine is seen imprisoned in the state of living death;
  4. this continues for a long time, when it seems that the dark power has completely triumphed;
  5. but finally comes the miraculous redemption: either, where the imprisoned figure is a heroine, by the hero; or, where it is the hero, by a Young Woman or Child.

Of course, when you begin combining elements from the seven basic plots, you end up with a more complex tale, like, for example, JRR Tolkien's Lord of the Rings, which combines six (Tragedy for Saruman; Comedy the one absent); or The Hobbit (combining Overcoming the Monster, The Quest, and Voyage and Return).
Examples of Works Based on These Plots:Overcoming the Monster Rags to RichesAladdin, Cinderella... fairy tales have a ton of these. Let's try to list the modern versions, and any fairy tales that are particularly good illustrations of the storyform.
  • A Little Princess (although technically it's riches to rags to riches, but the main story is still rags to riches)
  • The Deed of Paksenarrion, by Elizabeth Moon, is one of the most involved and satisfying versions of this plot available. It details the journey from sheepherder's daughter to True Paladin.
    • Her early loss is of two things she held dearest at the time: her courage and her ability to fight. It's caused by immaturity and rushing things, both important to Booker's description of this plot. Oh, and it ends not with marriage but with the ultimate fulfillment of her duty to her God, and the rescue of a King, which does work within the symbolism.
  • The Horse and His Boy, book 3 of The Chronicles of Narnia.
  • Harry Potter, trending into Overcoming The Monster in later books.
  • Jane Eyre
  • Codex Alera
  • Wreck-It Ralph
  • Jerry Maguire: Metaphorically speaking, of course — although Jerry actually starts out rich and successful, the story traces his journey to gain something more valuable than material success, and follows Booker's outline (Initial Wretchedness, Out Into the World, Central Crisis, Final Ordeal, Fulfillment) almost exactly.
The Quest
  • Most Holy Grail stories including:
  • If information can be the object of The Quest, then many mysteries and police procedurals qualify. Frustrations, in this instance, might include red-herring clues, suspects with alibis, and other obstacles to solving the case; the Final Ordeal may be a violent confrontation, or a verbal "duel" fought in a courtroom.
  • Information is one of the titular quests in the ElfQuest graphic novel, along with finding a new home and finding people.
  • Watership Down
  • Persona2, 3, and 4.
Voyage and Return
  • Alice in Wonderland
  • Finding Nemo
  • Labyrinth
  • The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
    • Also Tin Man, which is based on The Wizard of Oz... only in that, the ending differs.
  • The Where the Wild Things Are movie is a good modern example.
    • If you thought the movie was odd, though, you're not alone. Now, in a Voyage and Return story, the Hero always leaves the fantasy land, and it does seem to be normal for him not to fix all its problems before he leaves. But Where the Wild Things Are seems to end on a note of incompleteness. Dunno what Booker would say, but it's hard to imagine a more complete ending, what with the theme of "Maturity doesn't come all at once." Yes, Max saw his negative traits highlighted and was able to learn from this, but it's not like they won't show up again, over and over, as he spends his childhood trying to master his own impulses. Such is life.
  • Most Digimon series.
  • Dream-like sequences with character growth but no physical change? Sounds like A Christmas Carol fits the bill.
  • Gullivers Travels
  • Space Trap, by Monica Hughes.
  • Away is a Strange Place To Be, by H. M. Hoover.
  • The Ear, the Eye and the Arm, by Nancy Farmer.
  • The Glass Mermaid
  • The Devil Wears Prada actually falls under this plot, the heroine enters a new world (her new job at the magazine) finds her normal behavior patterns won't work there, adapts, but discovers that the job is making her a bad person and quits.
  • The Phantom Tollbooth
  • Inception omits the joyful exploration of the dreamworlds, but Cobb is certainly a different man at the end of the movie than in the beginning.
    • The joyful exploration was shown in flashbacks of the fifty years Cobb and Mal spent in limbo
    • Don't forget the training of Ellen Page's character where she got to romp around in Cobb's dreams, an adventure that produced the now iconic image of a city being folded in half.
  • The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
  • An Ontological Mystery is basically this minus how the protagonist got there.
  • Portal
  • Almost anything in the Silent Hill franchise, though they usually skip past the "fascination" stage straight to "JESUS CHRIST WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PLACE."
  • Majora's Mask
  • Coraline by Neil Gaiman
  • Spirited Away
Comedy Tragedy
  • Macbeth is an example Booker returns to a lot. It's like the crystallized form of this plot, complete with three specific murders, each of which leaves behind a survivor who stays in the shadows until it's time to strike back at the monster MacBeth has become.
  • Hamlet also, although you'd have to read Booker's analysis to figure out whether you agree with his reasoning. But it includes three specific crimes: murdering the old man Polonius, murdering Hamlet's double Laertes, and driving the young girl Ophelia to suicide. These three symbolic crimes crop up a lot in tragedies.
  • Don Juan, Don Giovanni, and assorted versions of the story.
  • Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.
    • And also the BBC's drama, Sweeney Todd, though in contrast to Sondheim's revenge plot this is very much an unhealthy love-tragedy.
  • Although it's mostly encountered externally, this is a pitch perfect description of the character trajectory of all the major villains in Lord of the Rings (Sméagol/Gollum, Saruman, Sauron).
  • Code Geass and Death Note are probably the best known anime tragedies.
  • Archer's backstory of Fate/stay night looks just like this, which is all the more sad because our Tragic Hero had only one desire: to be a hero.
  • Most crime films take this form - Goodfellas, Scarface etc. Not to mention any film entitled "The Rise and Fall of ____".
  • The Prestige: Hugh Jackman's character Robert Angier and his obsessions with his adversary's (Christian Bale) magic trick.
Rebirth
  • A Christmas Carol
  • The Light Princess
  • Mega Mind
    • Note particularly the use of capes. The title character decides to accept his evil "destiny" with a switch to his darkest cape; later, when there's need, he takes on the mantle of the old hero (literally), only to drop it at the heroine's feet when he refuses the call - and then she holds onto it until he's proven where his heart truly lies. This resonates with one of Booker's examples where the heroine holds onto the hero's heart/soul while he journeys to find himself. It's not insignificant that at his most heroic, Megamind looks exactly like the old hero.
  • Silas Marner
  • Sleeping Beauty
  • The Secret Garden
  • The Star Wars saga
  • BioShock Infinite The more you learn about the true nature of Bookernote and Comstock the more you'll understand why this is here.
  • Mirai Nikki, with Yukiteru's descent into madness after the halfway point, with his return to stability at the end and his efforts to repair the world.